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Post by Aphroditie on Jan 30, 2010 20:37:09 GMT -5
 *Silver lined pages that always look crisp and new. Small trinkets can be found between the pages. On the front page an inscription can be read* My beloved daughter, Follow your dreams and reach for all you desire. Within these pages write what your heart tells you. Fear not those things that hide in the shadows for they will never know who you are. Love, Your mother |
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Post by Aphroditie on Jan 30, 2010 23:16:50 GMT -5
Ever get so angry but you have no idea why or where it comes from? That is how I feel now. One person says or does the wrong thing and I feel like I will completely lose it and go mad with rage. I feel sorry for who ever that is this day. I feel eyes upon us and they need to be elsewhere.
I am missing the kids and I miss Vlad's good moods. He has been tense with worry and anger. I don't know what to do but stand beside him ready for battle. I am going to write my geandmother, I need to get updates. I need to go see Tac and get some plans together for things. I need to hear what she has found out and what we can use in the future.
I need to go cuddle with my husband, I have a need to feel him hold me.
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Post by Aphroditie on Feb 4, 2010 15:05:23 GMT -5
My husband returned home just in time. As I was about to tell him that we were under attack he shows up. I felt my heart leap with joy. I miss him when he is away, I feel so alone in that big house with the children gone and when he is away. Nina tries to keep me company but, it's just not the same.
There is a different kind of love with Vlad then with the ex-husbands. He is my sunlight, he is the rain that refreshes me. I guess that is what Aly didn't understand when he was arrested. Why I was upset. But how do you explain to someone what it feels like to have a part of you locked away and kept from you? It didn't start out like this but grew into this. Just as he needs me I need him.
His ode to me made me smile. I cannot believe I was even concerned about the warning I got about another trying to take him from me. I know better and I should not have even given sway to the rumor. I will have a sit down dinner with him and dismiss the servants.
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Post by Aphroditie on Feb 14, 2010 21:51:56 GMT -5
I miss my husband, but this time away is doing me good. I feel the stress and uneasiness lifting from me. I spend my days being shown the new areas of my home land. I get a partical day of rest, then off to the parade. The children are having a blast it is good to see them laughing and feel free. Taren was ill for a short time, but the healer gave me some herbs and he is feeling better. Torsha has been a big help as well.
Soon I will be returning home but the children will be staying here. I will miss them greatly.
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Post by Aphroditie on Sept 30, 2010 3:30:50 GMT -5
It has been many moons since I last wrote in this. My husband disappeared on me. In the last weeks before I had to return home to bury my grandparents, my husband drew within himself. I left word I had to go but when I got back I was told our once grand home hand crumbled and most things left within became dust. I forget home much time does pass in these lands compared to my homeland of Shallow Moon. The secrets I carry back weigh heavily on me and have led me to the choices I had to make.
With my husband gone and now my grandparents passing, Tacarra and I had to make some choices. Tacarra being the eldest had the right to the "ruling" of family estates and the title that comes with it. She declined greatly. The titles where then passed onto me, for now I have my niece Saqira ruling in my stead with me advising her. I left the children there where I know they are safe and enjoying the life at court. With my new title comes new responsibilites but instead of being like others who rule I do not want or wish this. I will not have my secret out. I will not be treated any different not in Sosaria which I have come to call home.
But my life here and home have led me to make changes. With my husband "missing" I by law of my family lands have to have our marriage annulled until his return. Not only for my safety but for the safety of the kingdom. Since we were married here in Sosaria in the Aegis that is where the annulment has to come from. Tonight I got that from James the mayor of Aegis with two witness signings. When and if Vlad returns we will discuss what will have to be done.
Three husbands come and gone, perhaps I was never meant to be happily married. I just want a man to love me and not see me as arm candy. I was a tailor turned warrior, not a ruler. By the Goddess I hope that secret never comes to light. I hear daily how much people dislike nobles. I was not given a choice in the matter. I need to go see the children soon but I will not break my promise to Aedon to train him.
Aedon, another mystery I still have to figure out. How does he not know he was once a proud king? A great warrior? He remembers me but not fully. I have so many questions on what happened to him; I must seek out Sage soon and speak to her and get things cleared up. Though on the humorous side I do believe he was flirting this eve. Sweet man he is I wish I could find some answer as to what happened and solve this mystery.
Hot bath and a glass of wine then to sleep I have to train Aedon more tomorrow. I plan on letting him hunt lizardmen and keep an eye on him. Maybe I can convince my sister to watch from the shadows just in case. Ah I shall see then later.
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Post by Aphroditie on Oct 14, 2010 0:43:52 GMT -5
It is so hard not to tell Aedon of his past. He so longs to be in love again and to be loved. Yet he has a wife, and Jan loves him very much. Then I found myself oddly getting slightly jealous when he was flirtting with other women. Was it because I was getting jealous in a protective way? He has been such a dear friend for so long I am unsure what this is about. I care about him greatly and I want the best for him always.
Maybe in a different time, if things were different .... I am going to stop myself and my ramblings.
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Post by Aphroditie on Oct 14, 2010 22:30:54 GMT -5
After a nights rest I have come to see that I am more worried about Aedon then jealous. Those who would take advantage of him see they have the oppurtunity. I will, along with others, not allow this. Maybe Eli will have an idea what to do for him. I want him to have his good memories back and not the bad. He seems so much younger then he was and happier as well.
I recieved a letter that I am needed back home for some business that is needed to be dealt with. Soon I will find Eli and ask her for some advice. For now I am going to go soak in a long hot bath.
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Post by Aphroditie on Oct 16, 2010 17:20:02 GMT -5
Maybe I said too much too soon. He left instead of staying and talking to me. Why did he think I was joking with him, and if I didn't have some sort of feelings I would not have told him the truth. Ugh men ..... they are more damn confussing then women most of the time. Why is it even when trying to help a friend they think you have to be joking?
I will wait and see if he comes and talks to me I am not going to chase him down. I did meet the new smith, he does not hold back he was a big flirt, I found it rather humorous, yet sweet. My mind is reeling I have not been able to sleep. My bed now calls my name.
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Post by Aphroditie on Nov 17, 2010 5:33:50 GMT -5
Ok yes so I am a bit of a pain in the arse. But I only do things because I care. I will just step back, watch and wait. I am sorry yet I am not that I spoke to my former father in law. Since my father disappeared so many years ago I don't really have a father figure, and on my sisters urging he is to be trusted.
Soon the fate's will make clear what my hand is in all this. It nearly made me cry when he said if I lied to him he would no longer trust me. Trust to me is everything, and unlike my sister I cannot and will not lie. I just avoid the question if need be or go silent.
I will have to make my apologizes in the morning. I only do things because I want help and in this I am unsure what to do. I know it happened to me and I made a big show in the middle of Skara Brae dealing with my problem. I hope things go better for him. I think I need to plan something fun and send out an invite. See if it is accepted. For now my eyes grow tired.
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Post by Aphroditie on Nov 21, 2010 7:04:39 GMT -5
As I sit here packing our little bit of belongings I sit back and wonder what happened and what went wrong. I thought that things would have been different, but there was always that cloud hanging over us. I knew in his other life or other self he was married. Did that throw a monkey into the wheel? Me with that knowledge did I destroy it with out knowing?
We are both so stubborn, I know I was poisoned and almost died and I know he wanted to protect me. But he has to know I am not this poor little thing, I can handle myself and protect those I love. He in a way could not handle that and I do not know why.
I wanted it to work I did and do love him. Maybe we both were trying too hard, looking for something that wasn't there. He was looking for his Maggie that was not me. I was looking for my ideal partner. One who could see the strengths and weakness. I am hoping while he is on this journey he finds himself again. I want him to find his happiness I never wished him ill will. I said something I should not have, Eli is going to have my head.
Oh that reminds me I will send her word why I am gone, leaving just a few words. No one will need to know I am gone. Tac of course knows she will always knows.
I am really ...no no regrets. It is the best for all of us. Eithne has been a great friend in helping me pack up. The kids will be off in the morning, I will follow within a day. I hope this will be alright I will find Aly and apologize. It is very early in the morning my mind hurts I need to sleep.
We are both not as young as we used to be and both have had damage to our heart, now time needs to mend it.
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Post by Aphroditie on Dec 13, 2010 2:07:05 GMT -5
*Written sloppily*
Men succkkkkk. First they tell you one thing and then they change their minds about a gajillion times. Why will they just not say what they mean? I almost took Phaen up on her diamond offer..*splatters of rum* Me finding a very talented man in Brit? Ha! that is a laugh.
I just want to curl up and sleep a hundreds of thousands of years ....Damn I am out of rum ...
Wonder if I can bribe Liam into buying me some ...*scribbles* Wait I can't send him this ...I will just go yelling out the window I promised Aedon I wouldn't leave.
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Post by Aphroditie on Dec 13, 2010 2:14:36 GMT -5
I am yelling and yellings .... he didn't answer...I want more rum. I don't want to sleep now. I am scared of sleep.
I am soo scared ....I am going to be like Tacarra .....
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Post by Aphroditie on Dec 13, 2010 22:28:51 GMT -5
Oh my damn head. I am waiting to the hang over rememdy to take affect. Why is it friends can do this to you? Drive you to drink? Thought that was supposed to be kids and spouses?
Tyson is back I am not too sure what I can do for him. I am not sure what he wants. I hope Eithne's wyrm doesn't eat him .... I am so tired I can't think straight I am going to bed.
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Post by Aphroditie on Jan 3, 2011 19:57:10 GMT -5
I have made up my mind, men suck and they really don't know what they want. And they do not understand "Not interested". I need to just focus on being a single mom. And other's thinking and knowing what I need and what I am ready for is absolutely driving me to a short fuse. It is hard enough trying to keep my wits about me. I need a week or so away in the wilderness alone again. It is time I work on survival and build the wall back up around my heart. I tire of being hurt over again and again.
I am a strong woman, when did I get so weak? I cannot stand feeling this way, and knowing that a man like .. well any of them can cause such a change in me or weird me out like what happened last eve. It just needs to stop no more I am through. I will say what man I will date and if I even want to date. After the dinner I promised Liam for repairing my weapons and armor I will be through with men. Tac has it right.
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Post by Aphroditie on Jan 9, 2011 5:44:31 GMT -5
Good dreams ...I need to have good dreams. Perhaps if I think of some things that happened this eve it will help. I still have the herbs that were given to me before I left my homelands. The dreams have always been a plesant ones when I have had this tea. I know what I will focus on when I dream, maybe he will be able to see my dreams as well.
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