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Post by Aphroditie on Mar 5, 2011 20:11:46 GMT -5
My mind never turns too far from him, he is a soul that at times seems so lost and confused. I remind him that I am always here. Maybe I will feel better if I just write a letter that I know I will not send him. Then my feelings will be penned and I can move on, and not continue to feel the way I am now. I love him and who is, I loved who he was but then he was everyones. He belonged to the world, now he free to do as he wants, accept love who he wants.
My Friend,
I bruise you. You bruise me. We both bruise so easily. Too easily to let it show. I love you, and that’s all I know, and all my plans keep falling through. All my plans they depend on you, depend on you. To help them grow. I love you. And that’s all I know. When the singer's gone. Let the song go on. It's a fine line between. The darkness and the dawn. They say in the darkest night. There’s a light beyond. And the ending always. Comes at last. Endings always. Come too fast. They come too fast. And they pass too slow. I love you. And that’s all, it’s really all I know. It’s all I know. It’s all I know.
Love Always,
Aph
With that she encloses a rose that he had given her and a valentine.
*Letter lyrics to "All I know" - Five for Fighting*
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Post by Aphroditie on Mar 6, 2011 4:21:30 GMT -5
Seems I am more cluttered in my house then I thought. So many letters and notes. I found Vlads last will and testiment that he wrote when he took the oath to Selora. I also found my wedding vows to Kenyon and the letter I was sent when my son Trystan was killed while serving in the army. So much from my past and so much of it hurt.
As the winds blow my friends and loves come and go. Seems lately it s more go then come. I am unsure what will happen when the last of my friends leave. Perhaps I will be the last of the ghosts of the past. My eyes and head hurt from rummaging through the past. Now it is time to dream and hope for a brighter tomorrow. I just have to remind those that are my friends that I love them all and hold them near and dear to my heart. They are not alone I am here and await their calls.
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Post by Aphroditie on Mar 7, 2011 4:49:15 GMT -5
Seems things change daily. I wish all who seek adventure and excitement the best.
I am happy where I am. I may not be old but I am settled, I like how my life is.
I love that my friends worry and get concerned but I am a grown woman. I know how to control my life and I know who my true friends are and who are enemies.
How is it that people have lost confidence in me and my ability to judge. Do I truly seem that naive? I am grateful I really am that people care that much. It only has to be told to me once. I am not five years old, I understand really I do.
I cannot sleep because things trouble me so. Maybe I will just watch this fire and maybe my thoughts will quiet and I can sleep.
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Post by Aphroditie on Mar 7, 2011 13:23:11 GMT -5
My thoughts quieted briefly, then like a spring thunderstorm they came striking back into my mind. Drinking my morning tea on my roof I began asking questions such as; "Why are people so unhappy?" "Why can't we find a common ground and get along?"
Then it hit me, some people are not happy unless there is conflict, some are not happy unless there is the big emergancy in life. And then there are others who are not happy unless others are miserable.
I am happy in times of peace and I wish there was something I could do to draw people back together. Maybe a dinner party is in order or maybe a "Welcome to Spring" ball. Maybe I will talk to Aedon and see if we can change the ship to an elegant garden with three floors, one for dancing, one for eating and then just a garden to sit and talk in. That could be an idea.
My stomach tightens in illness. There is something just not right on the winds. I hope it will pass.
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Post by Aphroditie on Apr 13, 2011 3:46:08 GMT -5
*A small tea stain ring on the page*
It is very early in the morning and I slept maybe an hour. Things tumble through my mind. Torsha is home with me and she seems very happy, my son wished to stay back home I think he enjoys the life at court. I can see him growing to be a very noble young man in time.
My mind focuses on my friends, it is spring and many still act as if it is winter. I wish I could do more to get most of them to smile and laugh. I fear I have lost the friendship to one I was close to for so many years. Perhaps in time he will find that happiness he was looking for.
My life has become more stress free and I am enjoying the quiet time I have and the time for studying of my healing. I have discovered a few new herbs and mixtures, and my wine is turning out very well. I am going to have two different types, one just a normal wine with a hint of honey, mint and of light spices. The other I have mixed with chamomile, honey and herbs from my homeland. The latter I have already named "Twilight's Song". The first I will be holding a naming contest, I am excited to see what people come up with for the wine. I already have orders for Twilight's Song. I am going to put in a request with Ala for specially made boxes for it, have them with a color to them. I was also thinking of sending each buyer chocolate covered fruit with them as well.
So many ideas so little time.
The sun rises and it is the best time of the day, the morning birds are singing the air is crisp and cool, my tea warming and inviting. I will finish my tea an go to bed and sleep for a short time. I wish to sit down with Laur real soon and speak to her, I think perhaps if I open up to her a big maybe she will see why I did what I did the other night.
Good morning world the sun says hello. Warm us sun and lift our spirits.
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Post by Aphroditie on May 9, 2011 5:12:20 GMT -5
I knew I should have just turned around and left, gone home back to bed the minute I saw Kelfer. The look on Thom’s face about said it this was going to be fun. I was planning on just being pleasant if my memory served me right my last encounters with Kelfer were not very …friendly. It was when I watched how he treated a young squire that I felt my dislike for him grow. He made the lad drink milk which he did not want to and made a quick exit after to relieve his stomach of its contents. Then he snagged Thom’s ale and made the young man drink that. The insanity just continued he dubbed the young man Thom’s “Cup Bearer” informing him he was to taste all of Thom’s food and drink. That was not happening, my anger was boiling over. I excused myself and went outside for air I needed that air. I only now wish I knew then what would happen later this night maybe me speaking my mind would have prevented the tragedy.
This was my fault, Thom keeps saying it wasn’t but if I had just stayed faithful to Vlad and kept my promise to love him …….*tear stain on the page* but I couldn’t lie, to him or me …..it would have been a terrible lie. I didn’t love him I am in love with Thom.
After getting some air I needed more time to relax and Thom had paperwork and I had shopping to do. I arrived back in Olympus to see Calli run past I followed her she told me and Esidor that Thom and Kelfer were hurt and needed us. Seems the pirates decided to attack them and Eban. I examined Thom and he had a nasty bump on his head … this was where the hell really started. Thom and I left Kelfer and Piper and decided to go to Thom’s office.
Blood, gore and dismembered animals everywhere, I saw it wash over Thom quicker then any flood I tried to relax him to get him to focus on me it wasn’t working, I sent for Piper she would know what to do. She arrived with him …. Kelfer. He was running theme in my bad day. I hate him …. I hate him for what he did. I swear he was out to make me miserable. He came in and right away started to provoke Thom even more trying to pull out that rage. That arse shat was enjoying it even when I asked him to stop. He continued and tormented Thom. I could almost see the pleasure as he kept telling me Thom was better and fine. No he wasn’t, I watched as he poked at Thom with that accursed staff, telling him to calm down and that he was fine.
I wanted to strike him, to punch him in his smug face and make him see stars but I focused and hoped Piper would return shortly and leash …. him. The door soon opened and Eban walked in with Vlad …
Vlad smirked watching as Kelfer and Eban struggled to chain Thom. They chained their Emperor like a common animal. I was on the verge of breaking …..
I cannot pen more then to say Kelfer ordered Eban to kill Vlad as Kelfer stood back and watched. He chained Thom to the stone ankh. He watched as they killed Vlad…. I begged them to show mercy to wait until Thom was calm … even wait for a trial. I kicked Kelfer in the shin and got in the way only to be pulled back. I fought to save his life, maybe he still believed I stopped loving him. It wasn’t that I stopped, it was the love changed. I still cared for him deeply as any would for their friends. Kelfer held me there telling me to close my eyes and not watch ….how dare he! How fecking dare he make the choice to end a mans’ life….who the hells does he think he is? Vlad’s last words still ring in my ear and hurt my heart. His words were for the children. They will know he died a good and honorable man.
I watched his limp bloody body fall to the ground I escaped his grasps and placed the wedding ring back on his finger where it belonged. I was so torn in pain between the man I love and the man I once loved. I could see the pain on Thom’s face. If that was not enough for Kelfer he … he slit Vlad’s throat …. *another tear stain* Then suggested clean up to Eban like it was every day kitchen trash to be thrown out. That pampas arse approached Lyra who had walked in after they killed him stood in bewilderment looking at Vlad’s corpse and introduced him self and told her to stay here and watch us. It was not going to happen. I got the keys to unlock Thom and got him out of there as soon as I could. I took him home to safety, to the serenity and calm of our home …
I knew Eban did not want to do this and Kelfer was too damn power and control hungry to do it himself. He loved the control he had over Eban making him kill Vlad. The image of him standing with his foot on Thom’s back and others being there to witness it, I pray Thom does not remember it.
Now he sleeps as I write ….I do not blame Eban this was all that monsters fault. I pray to the goddess he is struck deaf, dumb and blind …. Karma is a bitch and so am I ….
You will pay Kelfer one way or another you will pay for the pain and humiliation you put everyone through today.
Goodbye Vlad rest in the peace you deserve and may you forgive me one day.
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Post by Aphroditie on Jul 5, 2011 17:44:49 GMT -5
How in the heavens can one woman be so lucky? Not only do I have a man who loves me and asked me to marry him, but I am going to bare him children. As hectic and chaotic as Olympus is the stress I once felt daily is lifted, and for some odd reason people here respect me. I made the mistake of calling myself just a healer and I thought people were going to crawl out of their skin.
My other concern though is Kelfer. I know he sees me as being guilty by association, That part of my life I would love to forget, being married to Kenyon. All accept the birth of Taren. He was the best thing to come out of me and Kenyon. I don’t know how I honestly do not know for sure what to do to convince Kelfer I would like to start fresh and anew. I am not the same woman I was when married to Kenyon, and I hate he questions my love for Thom. Was not my fault my husbands have left me, Jonah beat me and Kenyon … well I think that was doomed from the start. Too many pests whispering in his ear and it just all built up.
I love Thom and that is all that matters, no one and nothing will change that and I am sure he is very aware of that. Now to contend with Bane and the swords, I got Thom to agree to let me do what I have to.
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