Broken Things and Shattered Dreams...

[Janissan Venroe~Durreah]

It had been weeks now since she had crossed the great barren sea to set feet upon the ground of the Aegis glade once more; yet it seemed like years. As she sat down lightly on crumbling steps, she sniffled softly and glanced over her shoulder to the rubble that once was their humble abode, as well as the Halls of Connemara.

“’Tis gone,” she whispered dismally. “Lost and forgotten save for Kylee and I.” She let her eyes touch each splintered remains, taking in all that once was and all that wouldst never be. She wept bitterly.

Janissan had searched tirelessly at all the old haunts of her husband; alas he was nowhere to be found. She had waited for three days and nights at their own seaside home that once stood in the loving embrace of the Abbey, even making the short trip to their old homestead of Connemara, but found a different owner and an adornment, not of Aedon and her design. She had peeked through the shades of the Knight’s rest and saw only strangers to her eyes, visited the picnic tree where first they proclaimed their love for one another, searched the glade of the noble elves they called friends-Ahmaya and Beleg; still no sign of the gentle King of Connemara was to be sensed. ‘Tis as if he never was, she thought somberly.

She stood, walked to the water’s edge and raised pensive eyes to the black, scintillating skies over Yew. Breathing deeply, she drew her cloak around her tanned shoulders, “ ’Twas his idea for further time to remember,” she stated to the stars. “He was the one who choose to forget our love; his daughter and his life with her mother.”

She and Aedon had built their lives within the Aegis and amidst the people who proclaimed fealty and love to them. They too loved and paid tribute to many dweller of the Aegis. Where were they now?

“Who hast made such a place of isolation and shadows of lives past within the honored glade of the Aegis?” Janissan Venroe-Durreah turned and glared at the shattered furniture and charred remains amidst the rubble of stone. Her heart beat furiously within her chest as the ire bred its young. Who hast done this thing, she contemplated wrathfully.

Gradually she turned her head towards the south and considered something she had not before. What if Aedon hast done this? What if the King has indeed gone mad as some have whispered carefully in the shadows of the dark places of this world?

Quickly as the thought formed, she shook her head and dismissed it with a click of her tongue. “Nay, ‘tis nay something my husband wouldst do without good reason. From the shadowy glimmers left here,” she mumbled indignantly, twirling her fingers together nervously, “he has nay been in the Aegis for quite some time.”

Janissan walked amidst the rubble and let her fingers lightly skim the topmost edges of broken things and shattered dreams as they lay in utter ruin. “What manner of man shouldst destroy the memories and fond moments of another,” she queried as she halted abruptly. She sensed something amiss as everything stilled and withdrew from the moon's light and into the shadows. She blinked and turning slowly, lifted her face towards the east.

The deep winds answered and suddenly came brutal against the cast-out warrior, queen. She shuddered as haunting wails pummeled her ears. Raising hands to her ears in a futile attempt to impede the mournful howl, she screamed silently against the ill wind and then, defeated, dropped to her knees. She had one last thought as the Halls of Connemara became engulfed in obscurity and the warrior dame fell… “Where art thou Aedon?”

[Aedon Durreah]

Kneeling on the ground in front of the flowerbed, Aedon carefully removed the plant he had been tending. He had put special care into this one; after all, it was to be offered as a very special gift. It was replanted into a simple crock of copper, the dirt pushed down gingerly around the roots. Taking the plant up, he carefully wiped off any leftover soil from the base and rim of the pot. He then started making his way towards the gate.

The sun shown warmly on his head, and he smiled whistling an old tune as he walked along. He could picture her reaction when she came across this plant, today of all days. It had been ready to be re-potted for some time, but Aedon wanted to wait until May twenty-fifth to do so. In that way, the plant would bare the date and serve as a reminder of their time together.

It was an odd thing, to come to grips with a past he had somehow forgotten, a lifetime lost to him, but of all the things he longed to remember, of the things he wanted to reclaim, Janissan was above them all.

It had not been a big secret around Aegis that Aedon had deep feelings for Janissan Venroe. From the first time their eyes met, she was ever in his thoughts. And, through the years as their friendship blossomed, a deeper feeling grew in his heart that bound him to her.

At least ten times did he ask her to marry him, and nine times she refused. But, on the tenth time, whether it was through her defenses being slowly worn down, or her seeing clearly his intentions were true, she ultimately consented to wed him.

He could recall the chapel he had built for her in Aegis, meeting her brother Vyndaar before hand, and actually acquiring his blessing on the union. The ceremony was a simply one, officiated over by Beleg, Ahmaya standing close at hand. They partied afterward with friends, and spent their first night alone as husband and wife.

Now, stepping through the gate into the Yew woods, Aedon smiled and reveled in his memories. Their life together was never an easy one. There were attacks against Aegis to be repelled, and other foes to be fought off from time to time. But, always, when they returned home and closed the door on the world, no strife of the outside touched their hearts, nor lessened the tenderness with which they held one another.

Of this great love, a child was conceived, and Aedon could recall the day Janissan told him of the impending addition to their lives. No man in the history of time could have felt any greater joy than he did - no child's arrival looked forward to with more excitement.

And yet, he had worried that his beautiful warrior wife would feel tethered by the birth. The smile on her lips and the tears which slid down her cheeks at seeing his joy told him that all doubt could be cast aside. With his own hands and great care, he carved the cradle their child would sleep in, while Jan prepared the nursery in their home.

It was a hard birth. A child urged into the world by dark days and evil things. Aedon could recall it had something to do with the crystal in the Aegis pond, and Jan was found lying on the steps of Connemara.

Pushing aside the dark thoughts, Aedon made his way along the path that led from the gate to the Empath Abbey. He thought of the home that they shared at the waters edge, and their plans to have friends over when the decorating was complete. This caused a chuckle to burst forth from him.

“Ah Jan, you were never finished decorating. All had to be perfect, every rug and tapestry in proper place. If only you had known, a hovel would have seemed a castle, so long as you were there with me.”

Rounding the corner of the Abbey, Aedon walked past Chaunce's home to the lot just before the water's edge. Gone was the magnificent structure that he had known. Upon the ground, before what was left of the collapsed stairs, the banners which hung on the outside walls lay tattered and torn. There was little left of their furniture and belongings. Aedon could not help but wonder what had happened to cause such destruction.

For a fleeting time, he wondered if he had taken too long to remember things and Janissan had been in some way responsible for this. Maybe she was haunted too much by memories of happier times, and this building only intensified the sorrow or anger she might have felt. But no, she loved this place too much to be a part in bringing it crashing down in smoldering ruin. He could only hope and pray that Jan and Kylee were not home when this happened.

Walking up, and through the charred remnant of the archway, Aedon looked around the huge, empty shell. Each day, he came here and left a gift, hoping that Jan would return to find the token, and know that he was searching for her. Those items were now no longer to be seen. Perhaps lost in the cataclysm which befell their home. But this, indeed nothing, would deter him again.

Walking to the center of the lot, Aedon pushed some rubble aside, and gently set the plant on the ground. In front of this he lay a letter addressed simply “To My Wife”. Standing, he looked down at the gift smiling a bit, and taking another look around said aloud:

“I will be back again tomorrow evening, and every night until I find you.”

As he walked away, into the early evening, Aedon felt a new spring in his step. He was very proud of the plant he had grown and hoped that, if she found it, she would understand the meaning of this gift; and, perhaps, if all fates were willing, they would soon find one another again.


(Below is a text of the letter from Aedon to Jan)

My Dearest Janissan,
It is five ears ago today that you stood at my side, in a small chapel in Aegis; five years ago that we took our vows as we held tight to each others hands. I am not sure what it was which drew us apart, or why it was that I, for so long, was lost.

But in all things, in all the great truths of the world, I know this. I love you and need you. I am a better man because of you and I know that at each others sides, there is nothing we cannot accomplish.

This house is gone, but a house is but mortar and stone. A home is made up of people and and a life shared. The memories of these things are within us. I will continue to come here hoping that one day, I will see you coming towards me, your eyes shining, as they always did when they looked upon me.

Happy anniversary my love, my life, my all.
Always and Forever -Aedon

[Aedon Durreah]

I have started to busy myself cleaning up some of the debris left in the wake of whatever catastrophe befell our home. There was little to salvage, and the amount of things I will have to have hauled away seems endless.

Here and there, small patches of embers still glow red hot, and I am hesitant to douse these with water, knowing nothing of what may lie beneath. I will allow these to cool on their own, and then see what digging in the spot produces.

There is so much to be done here, and yet I do not wish to ask for aid from others. This is, for me, cathartic – a way to deal with a past which seems to be running towards me with the speed of a wild horse.

Time is now my greatest ally, my strength, and my friend in this time of sudden rebirth. When not here, I spend the greatest amount of my time reading and re-reading the many tomes now in my care.

I have always loved books, and those which serve to preserve the history of a people or a land are to be treasured. I have read many tomes of histories and cultures long past; but, in these pages, I find not only my past but my future as well. I do not wish to miss a single nuance of the stories told within them.

If I am to believe these tales, and I see little reason to question them. I can well understand Janissan's surprise on seeing me again. The history between she and me is long and deep, and the future of the Durreah household is yet to unfold. It will be up to us, and those of our line for decades to come, to tell this part of the tale. For now, what we make of the time given us is all we have; and, after losing those precious months, I do not wish to let more time and distance stand between us.

My gifts I left on our fifth anniversary are still sitting here and it is my hope that she has simply not been by. This, for me, is easier to consider then the thought that she simply does not want them or me any longer.

I could not blame her if this were so. Portraits contained within the pages of the tomes shows clearly how much I have changed. I am not the man she married, much less a tenth of the one she might recall.

I fear I have been a poor husband and father; but, in all honesty, I am not sure that any of that which has happened was within my power to control. Time and tide can make a man, and history will ever record, for good or for bad, how he is viewed by the world around him. If in striving to become a better person, and attempting to ease the burden on his people, a man finds himself removed or set aside from the life he knew, can he then be held to blame for the pain caused to a few?

That is a matter for more scholarly minds then mine to determine. But I have always believed that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or in my case, the one.

At times, my life seems to be something I just awaken to each morn. Actions and activities seem preordained and are carried out with little thought as to why things are so. But, there are those special occasions when I am given time to revel in all that surrounds me – friends and family, life and love – all those things which drive us to believe that there is so much more then what we see before our eyes, and all too often take for granted.

The gift of “sight”, for many is a curse. For me, it has always been a wonder. To be given the chance to look beyond what for most of us is real, and take pleasure in the fanciful and bizarre, has opened my mind to new realms of possibilities. Of course, being a dreamer also has its drawbacks, as more often then not I have returned from my dreams to find a nightmare awaiting me. What happened here, to our home, is my latest such awakening.

I am no builder. It seems one of the few abilities I have little to no knowledge of. But, for now, I will clear the plot and make it ready for what is to come. If the fates be kind, then soon a new place will arise from the ashes of what had been here, just as I must now arise from what I was and become the man, the best man, I can be.