~An Easter Tale~
It had taken several months of research and several dead end explorations, but finally Xander had found it: a fabled tomb in which the riches of one of the old cult-gods of the Sun tribes of the Lost Land deserts worshipped. The glyph was an odd god to say the least, some sort of necromantic entity, which took the anthropomorphic form of a rabbit…
Xander grinned at the last thought as he surveyed the tomb opening. It was a rocky outcropping with a carved stone archway. A huge slab of round marble served as the tomb’s door. The young thief had been watching the door for the passed hour; slightly bothered by the fact it was already rolled to one side, offering a foot or so of clearance at the side near the bottom. Xander looked up sighing even as he grinned. He knew it was likely a trap, but the promise of treasure beyond was far more reason than his insatiable curiosity would need to enter.
“Fine,” he murmured to the obvious invitation, and used his skill in the arts of ninjitsu to shift into a much smaller form, one capable of accessing the small hole near the base of the door. Xander scampered inside in rabbit form; it was his own personal nod to the entity Bunubis, as he entered the darkness beyond. On the other side, he transformed once more into his human form, and twisted a ring on his finger, activating its night-sight. The passage was a long straight one, and led directly into mountainside.
One hour and several disarmed traps later, Xander was standing in a huge main atrium. Braziers lined the walls and up a steep dais to a sarcophagus, though they remained unlit.
For several minutes the thief’s discerning gaze swept over the room, looking for hidden traps. The air remained deathly still, and littered in a thick layer of dust.
Xander began creeping into the main chamber in a low crouch. He tried to twist back around and make a dive back into the tunnel system the moment he heard the scraping of the stone block crashing down from above into the doorway. His pounce brought him face first into the stone side of the now sealed door and he slid down to the dusty floor in a dull grunt.
A muffled “dammit” could be heard echoing off the ancient stones from his crumpled frame as he rolled to his back to look up at the vaulted ceiling high above. The thief chuckled despite his predicament, and sat up slowly. Xander’s sapphire eyes widened immediately however as the first set of braziers lining the walls ignited of their own volition. He watched as pair by pair, the remainder of the bowl-shaped braziers did the same, up the stairs of the dais and finally around the sarcophagus. The entirety of the atrium was now cast in a reddish glow, and though the light crackle of the coals in each of the braziers could be heard, nothing else happened.
Xander stood slowly.
“Hello?” Xander continued narrating to himself in a low breath, “he said, hoping for loot.” as he glanced around the chamber once again.
Xander blanched white as the Sarcophagus lid began to grate loudly and open. A puff of acrid green smoke boiled over the edges and as it faded, a two-foot tall robed figure with a gnarled black staff stood at the top of the dais. The figure was covered in black fur with two long ears protruding from the top of its rodent-like visage. Bright red eyes glowed starkly against the black of the creature’s robes and fur.
Xander began backing up slowly, as one clawed foot descended the first of the stone steps toward him.
The thief’s eyes widened as his back reached the thick stone of the blocked door, and he stammered, “It was just, really, great to meet you. I was just on my way out.”
The rabbit’s crimson eyes narrowed as it screamed in a shrill voice, “Bunubis does not negotiate!”
“But, I wasn’t um, trying to nego-” Xander began.
“Silence mortal!” Bunubis screamed.
Bunubis raised his gnarled staff slowly over his head as he added, “You shall naught see the light of your precious day again!”
Xander turned then; frantically searching the edges of the stone block for any sort of release or bypass, and winced as behind him in the same shrill voice he heard, “ Hail of carrots!”
With the words of power came a rumbling, and high above the sharply shaped carrots gathered. Xander turned and peered up slowly as they descended furiously. He blinked as the first hit and bounced rather harmlessly off of his leather armor. His surprise faded as the next in the carrot cacophony hit him squarely in the eye, popping it like a ripened fruit and burying into the socket.
Bunubis descended the stairs slowly watching the human dance around, pelted by carrots and trying frantically, and yelling obscenities, to remove the one that had taken his eye. The necromancer brought his staff sharply to the stone floor again and the carrot attack ceased immediately.
Xander was breathing in huffs, and glanced to the rabbit with one horrified good eye.
“I’ll go! I promise!” Xander pleaded.
Bunubis smirked, “Go?! Ha! There is no escape mortal!”
The rabbit necromancer reached into his cloak, and produced an odd sphere. One half was colored ruby red, and the other half a pure white crystal. Bunubis held the sphere aloft as he cried out, “Now cower before the wrath of my greatest creation!”
The wicked rabbit pressed a release mechanism on the sphere and threw it as hard as he was able between himself and the horrified young man, “ Jeebus! I choose you!”
Another rumbling ensued and the sphere flashed bright green.
“Oh gods…” were the only words Xander could manage as he saw the creature now standing before him. Jeebus was several feet taller than a normal man, with long scraggly black hair, a full beard and lifeless, milky white eyes. In one hand he held a huge hammer, and in the other he gripped a roofing square whose edge had been sharpened to a razor.
“God is not here today thief!” Bunubis shrieked. “Behold your doom! Jeebus, the dread carpenter!”
Xander was uncertain whether to laugh or scream, and both sounds seemed to erupt from the doomed thief’s mouth in unison as Jeebus strode toward him.
From somewhere behind the dread carpenter the shrieks of the necromantic rabbit rang clear, “Jeebus! Lament-of-the-builder-attack! Go!”
Jeebus lurched forward and pummeled Xander across the brow with his hammer, faster than the cat-like reflexes of the young man could even perceive. The thief’s vision flashed white, and as it returned to his one good eye, he realized he was lying on his side, on the floor. The last thing the young man heard as he watched his vision fill with the blood from his brow was the shrieking laughter of Bunubis, as the horrible little rabbit danced around his dying body in laughter.
“Here is your treasure thief! Ha!” Xander’s broken body flinched as a blue egg hit him on the side of the head. Followed by a pink, a red, and finally a yellow before Xander’s vision faded to black…
From far away it seemed he could still hear the necromantic rabbit shrieking with laughter, and the dull thuds as brightly colored egg after brightly colored egg pelted his lifeless body.